My Most Prized Possession

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Robby Raccoon

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A man I know online often video-chats with me. He loves history, so he loves when I screen-share photos of my collections and explain much about them.

One day he asked me, "This may be a really hard question, but what is your favourite thing you've dug or own?"

I thought for a second and said, "That is a hard question." He expected I'd show him some antique, and I was going to at first show an antique as it was what he expected. So I looked around.

I was going to show him a large antique family Bible and tell him it was that, for the Bible is what our God has given to us to get to know Him. I would have then begun to talk about God and how much He has done for me, even though I hurt Him so much. But instead, I did something very unexpected.

I hopped off my bed and stepped to my cupboard. Opening it, I looked down at the most precious things I keep in there to protect from sun damage.

I couldn't decide on just one. So I grabbed the green and white collar, the silver-framed photograph of a little black and white dog amid the green of bright flora, and a little brown box decorated ornately.

I hopped back into my bed and looked at the man on the screen and said something like, "I can't decide which one. They all are so important."

I then showed him each, explaining what he was seeing from the grainy camera. I explained to him how much Steve, my long-dead dog whose profile picture I use on many sites, was my entire world. "And this is what's left of him, the burned and crushed bones now ashes in this little hand-carved box. And here is his first collar and the bandanna we put on him after his first bath."

I then said, "Bet you were expecting something antique." He was indeed.

I grew up mostly away from people, so animals became my life. When Steve died (and the events that occurred later that day, which I will not go into detail about), it set off or at least worsened a disorder I have, one known as Major Depressive Disorder. It would be 3 years before I got diagnosed with it, but it also takes 2 years to diagnose it accurately.

Steve was my happiness. I was just a young teen when I watched him die over about a week, before being called out of school to take him to the vet to be put down (my decision when I learned they couldn't figure out what was going on to cause him to seize and be paralysed all week). I went back to school that same day, but it was a horrid mistake because of some very cruel people.

People may not understand just how much a dog can mean to someone, but they need to know that not everyone is the same. What doesn't affect you may greatly affect someone else. It affected me in many damaging ways that still are not undone and have lead me to do many things to myself that I cannot undo.

We're all different, and we all respond differently to things. We also interpret the same thing differently, and even the same person may interpret the same thing differently depending on what their situation is at that moment.

Steve was my entire life. I often wrote to myself how my life ended with his. I love that little dog so much, but he's been dead since May 2, 2011, around the late 10 am hour.

My most prized possession will likely be thrown out when I die, because I will never have children and have no close relatives. What means the most to me is worthless to most everyone else.

It still hurts. I don't know if it ever won't in this world.
 

CreekWalker

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The lose of my dogs ,in childhood, still haunts me. It would cause me to fall in a deep funk. Even now , the latest pet lost, earlier still year, still weighs heavily on me. Praying for you , bear, the God in our old family bibles can be a great comfort, in times like these! Hope He comforts you now.
 

botlguy

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Robert, your message touches me deeply. I feel your pain although I have not had the same experiences as you. I have two dogs currently who mean as much to me as Steve does to you. Mine are older adults and I actually sometimes pray I die before they do. I'm afraid of VERY little in this life, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit who dwells in me see to that, but I am afraid of the pain that will come from their loss. I'm pretty sure there are lots of people in this world who feel similar. Trust in God and the pain will be less than it would be otherwise.

Bless you Brother.
 

andy volkerts

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I am very sorry for your loss, and know of how you suffer from it, I am an animal person, I have had cats dogs horses and one wolf and one eagle. All of them were exemplary in there behavior and showed me unconditional love and loyalty. My dog is now 13 and my cat is now 6, and I dread the day that they pass. I should say here that I have had several dogs and many cats, some were more loving and loyal than others but all of them were to some point very good companions. My timber wolf which I rescued as a cub from frozen starvation in Nevada one winter was probably the most loyal because she adopted me as her alpha and would follow me literally into hell if I had gone there. I will always miss her greatly. You have to understand that all life is temporary and we have their companionship for only a short time, we have to keep them alive in our memory, if not the pain of their loss would be to much to bear. I sincerely wish for your pain to change into loving and enjoyable memories of past times with your best friend Steve. I have come to the conclusion that our furry friends bring special meaning to our lives, and teach us about unconditional love and caring, because that it is what they do, all you have to do is love and care for them. The same principle applies to persons, and we should all work on that. I pray for you that your pain will lessen and become a pleasant memory for you......Andy
 

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