My Bottle Hunting Plan or As Robert Burns Said

[OsiaBoyce]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwUtKxUAqj8

I tell ya, I must me a genius, albeit in the style of Wile E. Coyote sometimes it seems.

Ya see this weekend we had one of those looooong hwy. yardsales, 44 miles it was. Well, I had me good spot to sell at along w/ about a dozen of my friends, lots of people coming by to see my wares.

So my plan was instead of driving and looking for bottles along the route, I would set up shop w/ a sign that said.

I BUY
SOFT DRINK &
SODA BOTTLES & CAPS
NAME YOUR PRICE

With all of those people coming by, this was going to work. I mean how could it fail. Bring a coupla of crates of nice bottle for my patrons to see and kind of get the idea as to what I was hunting for.

I spent all day Friday going through my shed looking for stuff to sell. Washing,cleaning,boxing and loading..........spent 12 hours on it. I mean I was going to wow them. Not just used kidde clothes and cut glass at my tables.

I had Flow Blue, Occupied Japan, some nice demitasse cups, Nazi Headgear, Automobile trade mags and National Georgraphics from the late teen and early 20s, porceline signs from the 1930s.........bakelite radios.

You know...........good stuff, and lots of it.

 

[OsiaBoyce]

It was going to be a good sale after a harrowing week........ya see it started out at the dentist office........after being worked on for an hour and a half........she, the dentist,tells me she can't work on me......"There are screws in your teeth and a metal plate in your jaw.............what the hell happened to you?"

I tell her I got shot in the face years ago, and what she was seeing was many hours of dental and reconstructive fun.

So she sends me fourty-five mins. away to an oral surgeon..................

The short of it is I spent FIVE HOURS in a dentist chair Tuesday.............now my house looks like a drugstore [][][][].

 

[OsiaBoyce]

How many of ya here know who robert Burns was................?

OK, I know most of here are familiar w/ the lines

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men often go arwy
and leave us nothing but grief and pain
for promised joy"

..........now why should things be any different for myself.

 

[OsiaBoyce]

Well I was up at 5:30, ready to go w/ a truck load.

I'm backing up at 5:45..........then I remember......" I might need my walking stick."

Get out of the truck.......walk the fourty foot to my porch..........turn around and see my truck rolling down the hill................fast like.........I mean REALLY FAST.

My dogs are chasing it........barking trying to tell me "Pat........your truck is getting away without you"

I'm going "OH S HIT........DON'T HIT THE MILLSTONE.........OH HELL DON'T HIT THAT BIG PINE TREE."

Well it misses both............

 

[OsiaBoyce]

and wind up in the head end of my KOI pond............

The sound of beaking glass gtes Paula up...........she is going "You ok? What happened?"

I'm telling her......."Look"

I go to where my truck has come to a rest at a 45 degree cant...........I open the door..........and it's is broke glass everywhere.

There's still time to save this deal.......I don't think the truck is hurt..........just pull it out.

 

[OsiaBoyce]

So we drive the five mile to the part of my farm where I keep my tractor.

At 6:30 this is how things are looking............not enough tractor to pull it out.


At 7:00 I go to my neighbors and get him to bring a bigger tractor........that works.

 

[OsiaBoyce]

Well we get it pulled back up to the house, I can still make it to where I want to go, and I see it.

It did hit the millstone and bust my wheel............damn.

 

[OsiaBoyce]

LIke I said "DAMN"

Not only have I not made money, I have lost some.

 

[OsiaBoyce]

Rest of the truck looks ok......bent the bumper some pulling it out........but I could not get to the axels.



Now don't think for a minute this is going to stop us from going out and looking.........oh hell no

 

[OsiaBoyce]

Well it's off we go looking and we find these.

I tell the dealer of my mornings little misadeventure... tell him what I'm looking for.

Write my name down and give it to him he looks at it and says "I know who you are..........you're the bottle guy from Batesburg."

"Why, why yes I am." how about that, people I don't know, know who I am.
For good reasons for a change..........not like that getting shot in the face deal.