Bottle contest: Here's your sign

[cowseatmaize]

with a meatball sandwich meets slippers

Slippers made from bread? Hmm, you can keep the recipe Charlie. I'm all set.

 

[blobbottlebob]

so think what's the dumbest most idiotic deed you done did and humiliate yourself, you'll bring us much joy and maybe you'll win a bottle!

I am willing to play along with this. (However, I do not feel worthy of Steve's pontilled prize. I am doing this mostly for entertainment.) In the hunt for bottles, I have at least two stupid incidents that stand out. Once, I dove for bottles in a lightning storm AND I was literally shocked to find out why that is dumb. On another occasion, I took my gear off in the middle of the lake and it sank. Real smart. I can post links to the stories I wrote about these if anyone wants better details . . .

And thanks for sharing Steve!

 

[JOETHECROW]

ORIGINAL: cyberdigger

Looks like the forum doesn't have much stomach for humiliating others.. so think what's the dumbest most idiotic deed you done did and humiliate yourself, you'll bring us much joy and maybe you'll win a bottle! []

Okay,..I'd much rather poke fun at myself than someone else... Here's an adult "Doh" moment from the last couple of years.[] A friend gave me an old canvas and wood ribbed "lake" kayak. It looked pretty cool, but a bit dry rotted from hanging in the loft of his barn...21 feet long, two open seats....We were planning on taking her down a nearby jungle like river on her maiden voyage. Lot's of blowdowns, fallen trees from bank erosion and shallow spots too. We decided she needed some alternate flotation in case a stick or branch holed her. As we were giving her a quick 'camo' paint job, one of the group suggested spray in triple expanding foam type insulation, we decided to fill each end with it, By the time we came back from the hardware store it was growing dark. I was at the bow, and my buddy says "Hey Joe, check out how cool this stuff looks as it expands,...looks like a brain or something..." I tried to look up into the dark recesses,....couldn't see anything....My brain must have stepped out for a moment!...AS I clicked my lighter a little voice (too late) says NO DON'T! The chemicals flash ignited,....blowing the boat right off the saw horses, and me and my pal into the garage door...We looked like singed circus freaks! []The boat was laying about 40 feet away, quietly burning.[8|] As we collected our wits, we jumped up and tried to put out the fire....It was intensifying!...No amount of water would put it out....I finally ran in my house and grabbed the extinguisher from our woodstove.... Later on we taped over the smouldering mess with duct tape, and painted it to match.... She was then good to go,....Also, the flotation worked great when we needed it later on...[sm=lol.gif] True story.

 

[mtfdfire22]

so i called druggist nut (bill) one day and said hey i found an awsome dump!!! after i explain the coordinates of the site he says, "Dude, i told you about that dump a month ago". i think about that from time to time. so i suppose i nominate myself for that one. The strange thing is i had no recollection of him saying that until about 3 days later. stupid me, could have saved me a bunch of time

 

[pjritter]

my nomination...

ORIGINAL: Steve/sewell

Since you boobs wont ever engage me in my posts I figured
Id stoop down to your levels and have a little fun at all of
your expenses.I am going to try and run a contest with a prize
that you can enter as your self or nominate a fellow member
of this forum.All expenses of the contest will be at my expense.

Bill Engvall from the Blue Collar comedy tour has a routine
he does called Here's your sign!! Basically here's your sign
is when you or someone says something and you or someone else
ask a question or make a statement to the question or statement
at hand and the answer was already there staring you in the face
before you ever said a peep.

Example.This is One I just thought of.I am on a ladder holding
a paint brush about to paint my house my neighbor comes over and
asks me are you painting your house? I reply No... I am test
painting my house with a paint-less brush to count how many strokes
and how how long it will take to actually paint the house one day.
(Here's your sign!!)

Here are some of Bills.

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid".
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.My neighbor comes over and says "Hey, you moving?"I say, "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week so see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."


A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" I says, "Nope, talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."


I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit And there's only one way to test it. "All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."


Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."


We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house and he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.


I came upon a tractor trailer that had misjudged the height of a bridge? The truck got stuck and the driver couldn't get it out even after we let the air out of the tires to lower the truck. I called 911 for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report.He went through his basic questioning.License insurance ect. Ok...no problem. "So...Then he asks the truck driver is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the truck driver at the rig and then back
to him and said, "no was delivering this bridge and got 4 flat tires.......here's your sign."


I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied,
"No, I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

OK, everyone at this forum understands what a (here's your sign moment is)....Good on to the rules.

Here are the contest rules:


You can nominate yourself or another member.

You can nominate multiple posts from the same member.

You have to either provide the link from this web site or take a picture of the offending statement.

It can be either a picture or statement from any post.

The contest will run for 1 week that will be enough time to allow hopefully for a few entries.

You can nominate me Steve/sewell if I should win the runner up will win instead.

After the entry list is completed a vote will take place for 1 week

Real simple the most votes wins the bottle.

Please don't be offended if you are nominated its all in fun and we are all quite capable of being real stupid at any time.


So lets get dumb people and win this. A slick from the 1840s or 50s full of cold mold whittle and a deep tubular pontil. Now its not anything to special but is is old and in nice shape.A nice addition to anyone's collection.

 

[cyberdigger]

[] I'll SECOND that..

 

[swizzle]

Hmmm..Humiliate myself or someone else. Ok, my turn. I was working 3rd shift so I would make midnight runs to the local beach to metal detect. Well it was a couple weeks before halloween and it was nice out. Those little black whispy clouds traveling faster then I would have thought possible in front of a full moon. A bit of fog in patches. I grabbed my gear and headed down to the beach.

The closer I got to the beach the foggier and colder it was getting. Quite a cold clammy feeling. Once I got to the beach I set my lantern down and the bag with my snack and drink. I turned on my head lamp and turned on the detector. With the lantern at my back I started to swing my money sniffer about and that's when I saw it. I wasn't any more then 10 feet from my lantern when this huge shadow completely covered me. In that moment I knew that someone was about to beat the crap out of me and I never saw it coming. I did the only thing I could do on such short notice. I screamed like a little girl and turned around to see who was about to murder me....

Nothing...absolutely no one was there. It was a full moon and without even squinting I could see the whole beach. 100+ feet in all directions. No place to hide and no foot prints but mine. Just that huge shadow. I didn't know what it was and I was starting to move towards my lantern to grab my stuff and go. That's when the shadow came back. It was just as big as before and completely covered me again. This time I saw the culprit and was glad that no one was there to witness my foolishness. The plastic bag that held my snack and drink was blowing in the wind and it was blowing right in front of my lantern. Almost had to buy new skivvies after that one. I've done a lot of other foolish things but that one sticks out in my head. Picture the headlines on that one. Man dies of heart attack spurred on by a shopping bag!! That shopping bag was out to get me!!

 

[Dean]

Hello Everyone,[/align] [/align]I have to nominate PJ again for this series of messages received yesterday. Remember I 'm from central Ark. and PJ is in central Tenn. and I'm a foreigner way over here. [/align] [/align] NOTICE: These messages are sent with PJ's approval because he knows that it was just a mistake that ends-up being quite funny and in no way are intended to humiliate him. I'm just trying to help a few of the younger collectors. Hope he wins. Dean[/align] [/align][/align] [/align] [/align]On Mon, Sep 19, 2011 at 11:52 AM, Dean from Antique Bottles Forum [/align]Hello PJ,
Expect a package this week-end or early next week. It has some extra stuff that I had and you have shown interest in. The little guys are for dental work. I hope that you will enjoy these and give them a good home. I love it when God has blessed me with material things and I'm able to share with others.

Have a great day,

Dean[/align][blockquote]
[/align] [/align]
On Mon, Sep 19, 2011 at 4:04 PM, Preston Reyome :
[/align]
[blockquote]
Thank you!
I don't have any english speaking friends in foreign countries.....come to think of it, I don't have any foreign friends... Interesting world..
Whenever I see green again, I'm gonna send out some TN love packages to some people(care package), and you will be on the list. Don't know much about sending food to foreign countries, but I guess I'll find out. Hope you like Cane Creek Valley stuff...
Again thank you, yes, once I see some green again, I'm gonna do a forum auction, or some type of game...Got something in mind too.
I'll be looking for British stuff for you..
_Have a good....what time is it there........?..........Have a good, Day, Night, evening, afternoon.
_Preston[/align][/blockquote]
[/align] [/align] [/align]
[blockquote]
[color=#000000 size=2] [/align]I'd like to pull that message, I read the name wrong...
The only message that was in my inbox was from Jerry..
I thought it was a response..oh well
I fell like a d***.
Take out the following parts:
I don't have any english speaking friends in foreign countries.....come to think of it, I don't have any foreign friends... Interesting world..
foreign countries,
I'll be looking for British stuff for you.._Have a good....what time is it there........?..........Have a good, Day, Night, evening, afternoon.
Again I appologize, and say thank you!
_Preston[/align][/blockquote]
[blockquote]

I had a good laugh with this and I think that PJ is mature enough that he did too. [/blockquote]
[blockquote]Dean

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