How important is a good engagement ring?

[vivid2012]

A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?I don't think size is an issue, as long as it fits your finger, right? But my gf doesn't think so. The other day, I bought this ring for her.
Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters.. If I don't get a good ring- then what does that say for the rest of the relationship or marriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

 

[rockbot]

Well don't listen to me but my wife and I have been together for 26 years and we are best friends. I don't have a ring and I bought my wife a ring on our tenth anniversary.[]

 

[blobbottlebob]

Hey Vivid,
Welcome to the forum. I really don't want to sound like a jerk, but Rocky has a decent point. You don't necessarily need a ring at all. The ring is just a little token, a gentile reminder when she looks down at her hand - that you always love her. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy (but it can be if you have the means). For her to 'criticize' the ring seems shallow and superficial. What? She needs everybody to see see how big her ring is because it shows how much you love her?? It shows how important she is? Silly. My best friend got married right out of college to his sweetheart. He couldn't afford a big ring so his grandmother jumped in and offered her own quarter carrot engagement ring that she received over a half a century earlier (from her now deceased husband). It was tiny in size but huge in sentimental vallue. No ring on earth would have meant more. If you are going to be a married couple, its time to stop valuing some image (that shouldn't even be important) and focus on what matters. Sorry if this is divisive. I don't want it to be. I don't think it would be good to fight with her over it. I just wish she had a little more mature perspective. I wish the best for you and your fiance. BTW - The ring on the link looks great.

 

[RICKJJ59W]

ORIGINAL: rockbot

Well don't listen to me but my wife and I have been together for 26 years and we are best friends. I don't have a ring and I bought my wife a ring on our tenth anniversary.[]

I gave my wife a cigar band, 25 years here,right behind you Rock []

 

[Wangan]

My wife and I had very little starting out and I never bought her an engagement ring and the wedding ring has to be viewed in the sun to see the glint from the diamond but we are at our 20th this Sept. and are best friends that mean more to each other than any old blood soaked gemstone.

Real love knows no price.What you mean is far better than what you have.

 

[DIGS CHESCO]

vivid,

If you just proposed marriage to this woman and she is not satisfied with the ring, I'm afraid that this is a warning sign that the financial values in this relationship are not compatatbile. Statistically >50% of all marriages fail... Money is the leading cause of marital disputes. An engagement should be a joyous time.. and marriage is not something that should be taken lightly (bachelorhood is a great institution!!! I didn't get married for the first time until I was 40 years old). I apologize if this response came off a little cold or clinical.. and I hope you can work through this.

Tom

 

[bostaurus]

We are at 28 years and I have to completely agree. We could not afford an engagement ring. It was way down on our list of what was important starting our in our new life together. We could not even afford our gold wedding bands without taking out a loan. Then a friend asked us if gold was important to us...we got the same bands in silver at 1/10th the price. Nothing went on a credit card..well,we didn't have one. We still have the same bands. Not only do they represent what we mean to each other but remind us of a time when we had less but still lived life to the fullest.
If something showy or expensive is so important then you may not be ready for the challenges of being married.

I sometimes wonder if the cost of the rings and wedding are inversely proportional to the length of time a couple stays married.

 

[RICKJJ59W]

ORIGINAL: DIGS CHESCO

vivid,

If you just proposed marriage to this woman and she is not satisfied with the ring, I'm afraid that this is a warning sign that the financial values in this relationship are not compatatbile. Statistically >50% of all marriages fail... Money is the leading cause of marital disputes. An engagement should be a joyous time.. and marriage is not something that should be taken lightly (bachelorhood is a great institution!!! I didn't get married for the first time until I was 40 years old). I apologize if this response came off a little cold or clinical.. and I hope you can work through this.

Tom

I'm am sure threre a few Dr phils that will chim in.But my advice is---Run! Its a sigin alright,a WARNING sign. (From experince)

 

[cyberdigger]

My wife and I have matching silver wedding bands.. we picked them out together, and it cost around $50 for both.. but the meaning of them as symbols of our partnership makes them irreplaceable.
Vivid, Your G/F sounds like a ... hmmm ...I'm trying to be polite... ...

 

[Steve/sewell]

I have been married 27 years 32 days,10 hours 35 minutes.This engagement ring issue could be a potential problem or your girlfriends shallowness is being driven by the Holloywood media hype so prevalent nowdays.Hopefully it is that and she come to her senses. If not good luck working it out,a couple of songs to chew on ................................

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq_qL79lejA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4s0nzsU1Wg&feature=related