Plumbata
Well-Known Member
I think this is the root of all his cynicism and judgmental assumptions about others. Makes sense.
If we had the misfortune of some scrap of scum burning our house down and thus destroying a majority of our accumulations, and way of life in general, then Pat's reaction would make sense to most of us. I would be devastated. Having people root through the wreckage adds insult to injury. I suppose that he has gone through some almost unbearably tough times, but has risen from the ashes and conquered much of that past. Not all of the negative emotional components, clearly, but i really can't say that I would be any less cynical if all of my collections were maliciously destroyed.
When I was in 5th grade my brother placed my entire coin collection into the garbage, several thousand worth of good coins; some found via detecting or random chance, some bought at shows/markets, some bought from shops, and the most important ones were given to me by my beloved passed grandfather, who had nurtured the hobby when I was very young, and in my father before me when he was young. I saw them in the can after returning from school, and was more livid than I had ever been before. I would have killed him. He shattered crates of my BIM bottles when I was in grade-school, thinking I had stolen and hidden some SNES game of his (untrue), and ripped the leather binding off of rare and beautiful 19th century books I had acquired at the estate sales my father brought me to, for no apparent reason. He had done plenty of other mean and nasty things, to me and the rest of my family, but you get the idea. Regardless, he is my brother and because of that bond alone I painstakingly spent years showing his ADHD, tantrum-throwing and socially inappropriate arse how the world works and how to operate within it. It took a very long time for the investment to pay off. Most people would just say F*ck it and never give him another chance (and another, and another... lol).
Now we share the closest relationship that he has with anyone else in the family. Despite the pain, damage and suffering he has caused i love him unconditionally, and will stand up for him (almost) without question, even to my parents; with whom he has a less-than-ideal relationship. He is a lot better now, but the pain he had caused my siblings and parents in the past has seemingly altered their perception of him, apparently permanently, as still being the horrendously destructive brat he once had been.
Forgiveness and understanding takes more guts than judgement and cynical pessimism. Takes time and effort but it is worth it. If you can't forgive someone, then you allow them to continue "hurting" you every waking day, thus precluding you from living a happy and balanced life. Instead, it makes ya lash out at people without any objective justification. Everybody loses in such a situation.
