Post a funny story, joke etc post

[cyberdigger]

Remember this one?? []


"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says.

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy; the whole congregation joined in with enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain’t ‘til next Wednesday."

 

[milkglassbottles]

That's an old one! LOL

 

[BRIAN S.]

I thought this was kind of funny !
Oilfield Math




A clunker that travels 12,000 miles a year at 15 mpg uses 800 gallons of gas a year.

A vehicle that travels 12,000 miles a year at 25 mpg uses 480 gallons a year.

So, the average Cash for Clunkers transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year.

They claim 700,000 vehicles so that's 224 million gallons saved per year.

That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil. 5 million barrels is about 5 hours worth of US consumption.

More importantly, 5 million barrels of oil at $70 per barrel costs about $350 million dollars.

So, the government paid $3 billion of our tax dollars to save $350 million.


We spent $8.57 for every dollar we saved.



I'm pretty sure they will do a great job with our health care, though.

 

[appliedlips]

[]Funniest joke I've heard in a while!

 

[Steve/sewell]

There was a family that had a parrot that was always embarrassing them by sreaming cussing and other stuff like that.

So one day the little boy in the family took the parrot and stuck him in the freezer.Two hours later the squawking stopped.

The kid checked the freezer and the parrot said, "Okay I'll stop cussing, but I have one question".

The boy said, "What"?

The Parrot asks, "What did the turkey do"???

 

[Steve/sewell]

A policeman stops a guy for running a stop sign.

The driver immediately protests "Oh come on, I slowed down! Stop, slow down, what's the difference?"

The cop politely says, "Step out of the car please", and then proceeds to hit the driver with his nightstick over and over again.

While swinging away, the cop asks "Sir, would you like me to stop or slow down?!"

 

[Steve/sewell]

Your breath is so bad... when you talk your teeth duck. Hope I have not offended anyone who may have sever halitosis.

 

[Steve/sewell]

Threes the limit Chuck goodnight.